[ F i e n d ]

The life of a fiendish schizophrenic.

Saturday, November 16, 2002



GO BUY A BUFF! GO DO IT NOW!

Gojita3001: www.buyabuff.com
Gojita3001: wooh!
I am NOT pangit: omg..
I am NOT pangit: you are wierd.

Gojita3001: they're taling over, Mil...
I am NOT pangit: -_-;
Gojita3001: 2 million + sold
I am NOT pangit: i think its kinda lame.....
I am NOT pangit: bah

Gojita3001: hahaha
I am NOT pangit: OMG
I am NOT pangit: hahahahahahahaaaha
I am NOT pangit: dude
I am NOT pangit: that website is like...
I am NOT pangit: wierd...
I am NOT pangit: that guy looks like a girl.
I am NOT pangit: wearing that buff.

Gojita3001: twp pf the people are girls
Gojita3001: woah
Gojita3001: bad spelling
I am NOT pangit: lol
Gojita3001: “A magical piece of headgear that acts as a scarf, bandanna, headband, scrunchie, hair band, hat, "dew rag", cravat, facemask, balaclava, neck gaiter, helmet liner"
I am NOT pangit: face mask?
I am NOT pangit: why would you want to wair a face mask?

Gojita3001: (see icon)
I am NOT pangit: dur.
I am NOT pangit: -_-;

Gojita3001: weee!
Gojita3001: he can't see
Gojita3001: XD
I am NOT pangit: Lame.
Gojita3001: "I bought a Buff ... and loved it. Best
thing since gloves."
I am NOT pangit: lol
Gojita3001: "single most versatile piece of gear. Perfect to combat wind and temps down to freezing, while involved in aerobic activity."
Gojita3001: mwa ha ha ha
I am NOT pangit: dude... you are such a nerd.
Gojita3001: it's only a matter of time...
Gojita3001: yes
Gojita3001: I know
I am NOT pangit: lol
Gojita3001: 10 Buff's! ONLY $200! WOW! What a DEAL!
Gojita3001: ha
I am NOT pangit: o_O;;;;
I am NOT pangit: how much is each buff?

Gojita3001: 10-20
I am NOT pangit: that's about the price of a beanie
I am NOT pangit: or a hat

Gojita3001: yes
Gojita3001: but with a buff...
Gojita3001: "You get more than a rag, you get magic!"
Gojita3001: okay
I am NOT pangit: -_-
Gojita3001: that wasn't a testomonial
Gojita3001: but still...
I am NOT pangit: damn
I am NOT pangit: buffs are so cheap
I am NOT pangit: like
I am NOT pangit: you could make it
I am NOT pangit: out of raw material

Gojita3001: I know
Gojita3001: butit wouldn't be the same
I am NOT pangit: how so?
I am NOT pangit: you wouldn't be spending as much?

Gojita3001: buffs are seemless bandanas made from an ultra stretchy poly-thread
I am NOT pangit: you can make that
Gojita3001: suuuuuuuuuureee...
I am NOT pangit: ~_~;
I am NOT pangit: just got a fabric store
I am NOT pangit: or something

Gojita3001: the poly cloth comes in like these HUGE rolls @ $40 a roll
Gojita3001: I'm like:
Gojita3001: O_O
I am NOT pangit: how big of a roll?
Gojita3001: It's 1 yard x 30
Gojita3001: yards
Gojita3001: something like that
I am NOT pangit: isn't that really big?
I am NOT pangit: you can make more than one buff

Gojita3001: yeah
I am NOT pangit: and save money.
I am NOT pangit: and even sell them
I am NOT pangit: *the extra ones

Gojita3001: ...
I am NOT pangit: hehe.
I am NOT pangit: :-)

Gojita3001: ::swirlly eyes::
Gojita3001: I know, I can make like 5 Badrillion of them
Gojita3001: wear one every day
Gojita3001: and give them out
Gojita3001: mwa ha ha
I am NOT pangit: lol
I am NOT pangit: i don't think anyone would want them, though
I am NOT pangit: XP

Gojita3001: yeah
Gojita3001: and I'm sure our troll-like principle (the guy person) might say I'm littering by giving them out
I am NOT pangit: LOL
I am NOT pangit: "you have detention for giving away free garbage"
I am NOT pangit: "you may now spend your afternoons..

Gojita3001: hahaha
I am NOT pangit: ...having sex with me"
I am NOT pangit: "that is all."

Gojita3001: hahaha
Gojita3001: LOL
I am NOT pangit: XP
Gojita3001: ::dies::


Dylan [the person I was talking to] wears his Survivor buff thingy almost everyday to school. Isn't that neat? *_*;;;;

Monkey Fu Style: and I need a chick that isn't going to bitch at me about what's gonna happen to our relationship when I leave
Monkey Fu Style: that's the last fucking thing I'm worried about
I am NOT pangit: geeee.. why can't you just not have a girlfriend?
I am NOT pangit: o_O;
I am NOT pangit: are girls that important?
I am NOT pangit: they're all bitches anyway.
I am NOT pangit: :-)
I am NOT pangit: *ahem*
I am NOT pangit: haha.

Monkey Fu Style: LOL
Monkey Fu Style: even you?
I am NOT pangit: I suppose
I am NOT pangit: *nudge * eh? eh?
I am NOT pangit: XP

Monkey Fu Style: I don't think yer a bitch
Monkey Fu Style: not to me at least
I am NOT pangit: well, yeah. not to the "cool" people
Monkey Fu Style: got an attitude on yew like FUCK
I am NOT pangit: hahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: x_o.

Time for some mugshots. =D

Before DDR
Hahahaha! But where is the double chin? D:

Ghetto LiEk whUT
I am of the ghetto-ness. Wheee!!

Sheyliah glasses
Errr.. I look like a perverted nerd or something. x_o *I WILL GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND RAPE YOU. AND AFTERWARDS, I WILL READ WAR AND PEACE AND STUDY CALCULUS.*

Glasses 2
Yeah okay..

Glasses 3
Hi, I'm Mil and I like to look smart by wearing glasses. Okay bye.

Glasses4
Those glasses sure are big....

Icky!
Me giving an icky/disapproving/wierd look at the camera. o_O;

"Okay..."
I feel so alone and isolated. Well... yeah, it IS the bathroom, you know. x_o;

Silly1
Tee hee! I r so silly! ^.^!

Silly2
Okay yeah... I'm just a dork in this one.

Smiling
Lame. I have such a cheesy smile when I try to... smile. I like my natural smiles better. ^^;

Wierd Pose
The title says it all. Bwa. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. HA!

/end of the the wierd-age-ness

Okay, okay. I'll actually blog about my day this time, instead of procrastinating and talking to everyone on my buddy list instead. *ahem*

I never get to sleep in on weekends. My mom always wakes me up around 9 or so [I sleep around 2-4 on the weekends + Friday].... blah... she told me to clean the house; I.E., mop the floors, vacuum, clean the living room, etc etc. But I managed to reason with her that I would do all that crap after I watched "Enough"... since she rented that the other day and she has to bring it back today. After I watched the movie, she told me to start cleaning... so I pretended to clean until she went upstairs, then I turned on my music. She was like, "MILADEL!!! NG LILINESS KA BA?!?!??!!" [Translation: "Miladel! Are yuo cleaning???"] Me: "YES!!!!!!!!"

Blagh. I didn't start cleaning until a half an hour later, though. I was too busy dancing around my living room in my boxers [err... yeah. I wear boxers to sleep in my own house] and all that shiznit. After I cleaned... blah blah blah... I asked my mom for money. She was like, "I'll give you 15 dollars if you washed my car" Me: "Twenty." Her: "Ten." *CRY* She only gave me ten dollars.. blagh. Whatever. I washed her car anyway.. but since my brother used up all of our car-soap crap on his Civic, I either could use Clorox, Pine Soil, dish soap, hand soap, or body wash. Errrr... I didn't want to use up my expensive Bath and Body body wash on my mom's car, even though it'll make it smell a lot better... and we were a little low on dish soap. Even though my mom's car is white, I think the Clorox will do more damage than for the better, and I liked the smell of our hand soap. *ahem* PINE SOIL it is.

When my mom and I got into the car [she was giving me a ride to the horrid, HORRID Boardwalk], she asked me what that wierd smell was. I was like... "It's the smell of fresh pine trees! *sniiiiiif* ISN'T IT WONDERFULL??" Hahahaha. She was like, "o_O;;;" and started driving. She was even more wierded out when I told her that I used Pine Soil to clean her car, and that there was car-soap stuff in the closet. Blah. I am of the blind-age.

Anywho.... I get to the Boardwalk, no one was there. I failed on the second song of my first PIU game, immediately got bitter. I failed on Precussion Freaks since the cymbal was AGAIN not working, and got more bitter. I failed on the Pop 8 Oni course, AND STARTED JUMPING UP AND DOWN FROM FRUSTRATION. The tourists that were there were all scared of me... and stopped watching me play. Blah... lol. So yeah, I was all mad at the arcade, so I decided to walk down the Boardwalk and smell the salty breeze of the ocean air. That smell is comforting to me. It reminds me of our house in the provinces of the Philippines. I stopped by my old work, said hi to the manager and got a free corn dog. Wow. Their corn dogs still look like shit. I only ate like... 1/18ths of it and threw it away. I walk further and further down the Boardwalk, until I hear the "announcer" person say that all the rides were closing in 15 minutes, so everyone was starting to leave. I see that most of them were heading for the arcade, so I immediately thought, "Ooooh! More people, more crowds! Wheeeee" So I ran back to the arcade. Got more stares. No wonder, I was freaking dressed as a raver today. You know... orange pants, black tank top under a white jacket, my pants all rolled up.. I was wearing an orange beanie with my "Sheyliah" [girl from Sacramento tourney" fake glasses... my shoes were white, so everything matched. I was wairing my infamous one-black glove and my white mini backpack. They probably thought I was on E or something. Hahhahahahahahahahhaahahahahhaa. I have never even been to a single rave EVER in my entire life.

Blagh, back to the arcade. I did a lot better.. at least I didn't fail when I freestyled. Two tourists actualyl filmed me today. Not so wierd. Wow. Watch me. Type in. Short. Sentences. I am very. Intelligent. Ne?

There were a lot more people in the arcade at this time, so I was happy. I see some of the regulars there... nothing uncommon. But still, the Boardwalk has yet redeemed itself from its shittyness. It's still as lame as ever. LiEk WhuT?!?!!! Heh. I call my mom around... 5 or 6 and she picks me up. I go home, head straight to the computer, and here I am. I'm still dressed as a raver, however, I am waaaaaaay too fucking lazy to go downstairs to change into my pajamas.

Heh, homecomming was today, therefore I didn't have basketball practice. I didn't have basketball practice yesterday either, due to the rally. I sure as hell didn't go to the Homecomming parade.... I was probably dancing in my boxers the time that it happened. The dance is going on right now, and Me, Dylan, AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT I KNOW [like my big group of "whatever" (school-hangout) friends] definitely don't even care. School dances are lame, especially if you live in Santa Cruz. I would go to more dances if I lived in an asian city like San Jose, but Santa Cruz is waaaaaaay too white. I mean, you've seen the Halloween pictures. *dies*

Bah, my butt is getting numb. *gets up and stretches* Theeeere we go. Durrr... what was I talking about again? Dances? Oh yeah. Dances are lame [I think I already said this]. I think that only dance I'll go to is prom. Definitely. I cannot miss Junior/Senior prom. Whee.

*is listening to trance music*

Maybe I AM turning into an AzN raver. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! Dude, I was like... raving today on the DDR machine. On DXY, Abyss and that one song that starts with an "H". But yeah.... I don't know. I guess I just like the music. I don't think I will be going to any raver, anytime soon. But hey! What if, you know? Yeah. But no drugs for me, no sireee no. Drugs are bad. =)

I have to go to the bathroom now. Watch me go like ZOOOOOOOOM!

Friday, November 15, 2002

I am NOT pangit: so...
I am NOT pangit: you've never been to the PI?
I am NOT pangit: [philippines]

Gojita3001: no
Gojita3001: Just JP
I am NOT pangit: blargh
I am NOT pangit: -_-
I am NOT pangit: lame.

Gojita3001: [japan]
I am NOT pangit: lol
I am NOT pangit: shaddap

Gojita3001: Granpa = JP
Gojita3001: so,
Gojita3001: yeah
I am NOT pangit: what?
I am NOT pangit: your grandfather is japanese?

Gojita3001: yes
Gojita3001: I just discovered this
Gojita3001: recentlly
I am NOT pangit: heh i see..
Gojita3001: Mr Heits' family tree thingy
I am NOT pangit: i understand...
Gojita3001: yeah...
I am NOT pangit: cuz like
I am NOT pangit: i'm part taiwanese
I am NOT pangit: but i don't know any chinese
I am NOT pangit: nor anything about that country

Gojita3001: yeah
I am NOT pangit: so yeah *dies*
Gojita3001: I'm part Dutch
Gojita3001: ::loath::
I am NOT pangit: haha
Gojita3001: and I think the Dutch are from Dutchland
I am NOT pangit: OMG
I am NOT pangit: you are...
I am NOT pangit: laaameeee

Gojita3001: you know? It could be a country!!!
I am NOT pangit: the dutch come from like
I am NOT pangit: lets see
I am NOT pangit: norway
I am NOT pangit: i think

Gojita3001: think: wooden clogs
I am NOT pangit: err
Gojita3001: think: Holland
I am NOT pangit: oh.
I am NOT pangit: -_-;
I am NOT pangit: i was about to say that
I am NOT pangit: dur

Gojita3001: people ask me where my relatives come from I usually say "Dutch;and and the Philipines"
Gojita3001: They're like:
I am NOT pangit: LOL
Gojita3001: (O_o)
I am NOT pangit: hahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: you might as well say
I am NOT pangit: Dutch and Tagalog
I am NOT pangit: -_-;

Gojita3001: hahahhaha
Gojita3001: ::snort::
Gojita3001: haha
I am NOT pangit: o_O
Gojita3001: I'd like to blame it on speech recognition technology
Gojita3001: but...
Gojita3001: no
I am NOT pangit: what?
I am NOT pangit: @_@;?

Gojita3001: tachie joke
Gojita3001: n/m
I am NOT pangit: i see..
Gojita3001: *techie
Gojita3001: blah
I am NOT pangit: haha
I am NOT pangit: i was about to say...
I am NOT pangit: x_o

Gojita3001: yeah
Gojita3001: (good thing I read it over)
I am NOT pangit: hehe
I am NOT pangit: I AM A TACHIE!
I am NOT pangit: FEAR TEH L33T SKILLZ

Gojita3001: Like WuT?
Gojita3001: YO!
I am NOT pangit: ROFL
Gojita3001: ..peace...

As of November 15, 2002, my bird, Pikay... is no longer living. =(

So yeah... I see my mom driving up to our driveway, right? I instantly remember that I forgot to do the dishes and she would start yellin' at me if yuo found me on the computer instead of cleaning or whatever. I go downstairs, rush to the sink, and started cleaning the dishes. She walks in, brings in the groceries and goes, "What the.... WHEN DID PIKAY DIE??????" Me: "What?"

Duuuurrrrrrrr.

BLAH!!!! My brother threw her at me while we were outside burying her. omg. My brother sucks big, monkey balls. -_-; Blegh. Now, we only have three birds: Baby, Pancake and *Blue*. Yeah, I know.. we have wierd names for our birds. Pikay I believe... is the second bird to die. We had another one, named Pikoy, but he died like last year. ANOTHER bird, friggin flew out the door last summer... and we assume he died. BLAAAAHHHHHH. *cries*

HELP ME I AM TURNING AzN!! *dies*

This is from findapix so yeah... derrrr....

If you were any fruit, what would you be and why?

Wha? I already AM a fruit.. the crazy kind, anyway. o_O; *silence* Oh! You mean the kind that you eat! Lets see... I would have to say... err, peaches? But only because I love that one song. Haha. Go hip hop! ^.^

What is your pet-peeve and why? Pet-peeve is something people do that annoys you.

People that are really annoying. Even if they don't realize it... it's just... ugh!! Blargh! How can they be that clueless and ignorant? -_-;

What qualities do you admire in a person and why?

Physical quality: Their eyes. I mean damn.. I can get lost into someone's eyes and instantly fall in love. Just like that. That's how whack I am... hahaha. Non-physical quality: Intelligence. A boy needs intelligence if he wants to get anywhere.. either with life, "good" girls like me.. or just to survive, you know?

What qualities do you disapprove of in a person and why?

Being obviously "fake" really turns me off. I like guys that can be real and truthfull to me.. someone that doesn't make up lies, someone that I know I can trust. Wannabe thugs are fun, but a girl likes a guy that is REAL. Do you hear me? XP

What quality do you possess that sets you apart from others and why?

I'm not really sure. I would hate to be conceited and just recite all of my talents and hobbies and such... but chea. I guess I'm too modest? heh.

If you were stuck on an island and could bring one item, what would it be and why?

Hrm.. it would definitely be a cell phone so I could call someone to come and save me. Hopefully prince charming. ^.^

Would u rather love someone or be loved and why?

I would rather love someone. I always feel bad if persay, one of my friends loved me and I cannot love them back for personal and emotional reasons.. then eventually, I would have to break their hearts. I would rather have MY heart broken than me breaking someone else's. =( I mean come on... that's like, rude..? lol.

If tomorrow was your last day to live, what would you do and why?

Oh gosh! I would want to go back to the Philippines and see my grandmother! ^.^ Deng, I haven't seen her in years. Honestly... If I had to choose between being with my friends than with my loved ones, my heart totally conquers. Blood is always thicker than water.. and anyways, I've been hanging out with my friends all my life. I rarely get to spend time with my family, especially the ones that live in the Philippines and Taiwan.

What certain quality don’t you possess, but wish you did and why?

I'm fine the way I am, thank you. =)

When was the most courageous moment in your life and why?

Courageous? I would have to say... stopping myself from suicide. I remember being four, when my grandfather died... and I just have the memory of me NOT crying. Honestly, I have been closer to my grandfather than to anyone else. Even though I was only four. I love him so much the short time we spent together.. I respected him more than anyone else. And I didn't cry when he died or at his funeral. I thought I had a black heart, and that has been killing me even to today. One night, I was thinking about him and about my "black heart" and I was crying... I didn't know how I got to the kitchen, but I had a knife in my hand and I was about to do it. I don't know what happened.. at the time, I was remembering how much I loved my grandfather, and I realized that I wanted that love back. And I wouldn't be getting it from suicide, so why not live on with life and search for that love again? It wouldn't hurt as much as dying, even though I might have my heart broken a few times... but it's worth a try. =)

When was the most embarrassing moment in your life and why?

Err... I'd rather not say. Get to know me more, and have me get to you more, and MAYBE i'll tell you about that one time in Disneyland back when I was 8... =X

What phrase do you use most often?

Aiiiigoooo meh! [Korean]

Here's a thing that I was writing in my "notebook of random crap" yesterday. Blah.

Thursday, November 14, 2002

I have been struck. Struck by a common and deadly disease, one of which might want to make me go on the verge of suicide. I love and I hate. Both of which I dread. Love. Why do I love so much? Do I love too much? I fall in and out of love too often and too fast, that my heart thrives to keep up. I do it more and more and faster and faster until I die of all the confusion. Why do we even try love in the first place? All relationships end. They come ... and go ... and thrive ... and die. Feelings are gained and feelings are lost. Old feelings are revived, while new feelings are forgotten. Love. What a sappy concept.

Onward to hate. Along with love, hate is such a comforting ecstacy. You get lost in your own trance of trepidation, that you forget all consciousness and eventually get hurt in the end ... if not in the process. My hatred for some people~especially certain individuals in my family is unexplainable. I hate them, yet I hate for hating them--then I hate myself.

... silence .....

Living can be such a painfull hassle.

I'll write about yesterday and today later.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Oh my gosh! I am in love with Korean guys... seriously....

Maybe it's some wierd Shinhwa effect or something. x_o;

CrAzI E GyR 1: for a minute there i thought your sn said i am not pregnant
CrAzI E GyR 1: lol
I am NOT pangit: LOL
I am NOT pangit: shhh!!!
I am NOT pangit: i really am
I am NOT pangit: WITH YOUR BABY
I am NOT pangit: =O!!

CrAzI E GyR 1: ;-)
CrAzI E GyR 1: my butt is numb
CrAzI E GyR 1: want to rub it for me>?
I am NOT pangit: mmkay ^_~

youeatdabyen: so hows things for you
youeatdabyen: good?
youeatdabyen: bad? :-\
I am NOT pangit: well
I am NOT pangit: dude
I am NOT pangit: this one person
I am NOT pangit: from socal
I am NOT pangit: was all hitting on me..... like... he sent me hella naughty pics of him
I am NOT pangit: *dies* http://members.aol.com/okonomilaki/pedophile

youeatdabyen: wtf
I am NOT pangit: he's 21, too
youeatdabyen: i dont want to see
I am NOT pangit: LOL
I am NOT pangit: i don't blame you XD

youeatdabyen: o_o
youeatdabyen: i dont want to see any pics from mil
youeatdabyen: that are not of mil
youeatdabyen: =-O
I am NOT pangit: lol ^^;;;
I am NOT pangit: he's all..
I am NOT pangit: iono.
I am NOT pangit: freaking nasty.
I am NOT pangit: x_o

youeatdabyen: HI I WANT CYBER
youeatdabyen: PLZ GIVE NUMBER
I am NOT pangit: hahahahahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: LAME
I am NOT pangit: XD

youeatdabyen: PLZ TAKE OFF THOSE HOT CYBER PANTIES PLZ
youeatdabyen: you should like
youeatdabyen: report him to authorities :-\
I am NOT pangit: i know...
youeatdabyen: you could get him arrested :-)
I am NOT pangit: x_o
youeatdabyen: youre underage
youeatdabyen: dooooooooooo it!

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

i am maruchan: ji've become too impatient for dsl
I am NOT pangit: you have dsl?
i am maruchan: yea
I am NOT pangit: my friend was complaining about dsl earlier..
I am NOT pangit: but he lives all the way in canada, so i don't see a connection
I am NOT pangit: o_O

i am maruchan: lol
i am maruchan: silly guy
i am maruchan: it's like
i am maruchan: my dsl is great
I am NOT pangit: oh hehe
i am maruchan: but i need stuff to d/l faster
I am NOT pangit: ahh i c
i am maruchan: like @ 200
i am maruchan: not 100
I am NOT pangit: i need to get dsl
I am NOT pangit: i am sick and tired of AOL
I am NOT pangit: -_-

i am maruchan: aol blows goats for quarters
I am NOT pangit: hahahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: I blow goats for dimes
I am NOT pangit: :O
I am NOT pangit: j/p ^^;;;

i am maruchan: wow...
i am maruchan: @ least 4 goats could get you a call with quarters

-------

SimianAntithesis: Ok like.... don't say that to some as gulible as me!
SimianAntithesis: MEANY@
SimianAntithesis: *cry*
I am NOT pangit: XD
I am NOT pangit: everyone believes me..
I am NOT pangit: damn
I am NOT pangit: people trust me too much
I am NOT pangit: rofl

SimianAntithesis: mmhmm
SimianAntithesis: You should start a CULT
SimianAntithesis: lol
I am NOT pangit: okay
I am NOT pangit: i'll start a cult of....
I am NOT pangit: unFing goats

SimianAntithesis: like 10,000 austrailians like already do THAT
I am NOT pangit: damnit.
SimianAntithesis: lol
SimianAntithesis: Well... you can charge money
SimianAntithesis: NO taxes
I am NOT pangit: charge money?
I am NOT pangit: on what?
I am NOT pangit: lol

SimianAntithesis: *send a picture with you and a goat, as well as ALL your arthly possesions to Miladel Alba*
SimianAntithesis: earthly*
SimianAntithesis: *cheese*
I am NOT pangit: XD

My mom is an idiot and I wish she never came back from Las Vegas. The house had such a comforting silence.. but now, it's just complete chaos again. GOD DAMN!

I loooove this song....

Ex-Boyfriend feat. Verbal (m-flo)
lyrics: Emi K.Lynn / music: T-kura, Michico

(Verbal's Rap)

Can't get no more are irai You're just my Ex-Boyfriend

* Ain't my baby kanpeki ni
Sono te ni wa norenai no
Sonna tricky eyes
Ki ni naranai
ARIGACHI sugi ja nai?
Ain't your baby koi nante
Akkenai mono dakara
Sonna whisper voice
Kikime ga nai
sexy ja nai
ZURU sugi ja nai?

Ano hi no bus stop de mikaketa
Kuruma kara my boy kissing that girl
Anna no masaka saiaku no
Iki ga dekinai shunkan-tte
FURARETAKKE KOTO NA NO?
Kakushin shiteta my heart oh no
Konna koto kurai aru kamo ne?
Namida fuitara telling myself hey

** Can't you see? U hurt me My first true love
Hitorikiri tsubuyaita no
Let me down Told me lies Made me cry, and love no more
Mou watashi no kare ja nai oh
Can't you see? U hurt me My first true love
Kankei nai no imasara
Can't get no more
are irai
You're just my Ex-Boyfriend

* repeat

Kon'ya no party mikakeru
Sarigenai your eyes stabbing my back
Nan nano hitoribotchi nano?
Hitogomi no naka dakiyosete
KOKORO ga FURI SHITA NO?
Sou da to shitemo mou broken heart
Sasayaite mitemo ososugiru!
Shiranai furi de enjoying myself hey

** repeat
* repeat

Sono KORON no kaori mo
Ano kawaii egao mo
Sou ima mo daisuki yo
Don't tease my little heart
Mada wasurete wa inai...
Honto no kimochi dattara
Kakushitsuzukeru tsumori de iru kara

I'll never show oh
U'll never know dakara
No no no
Can't get no more
are irai You're just my Ex-Boyfriend

* repeat twice

[Verbal's Rap]

* repeat

---

M-Flo is one of my favorite singing group... ever. Thanks again, Dylan for burning me this CD! :D

Screen shot of the moment

Okay... time to go clean! My mom can be home any minute now and the house is a mess. -_-;

Mod: Damn. I have 109 guys on my "guys" list alone, and only 24 girls in my "girls" list... That's not counting A.S.S., "idiots", "find a pix", and the "?" part. o_O;

I am NOT pangit: I'M KOREAN IN THE INSIDE!!
I am NOT pangit: lol

SimianAntithesis: lol
I am NOT pangit: i messeged this one person
I am NOT pangit: on findapix.com
I am NOT pangit: i was like...
I am NOT pangit: "yeah!!! korean pryydddee!!! oh wait.. i'm not korean"
I am NOT pangit: er something like that
I am NOT pangit: and hes like

SimianAntithesis: hehe
SimianAntithesis: like...
I am NOT pangit: ahhhh
I am NOT pangit: hold on
I am NOT pangit: omg
I am NOT pangit: it won't let me copy and paste it
I am NOT pangit: brb

SimianAntithesis: k
I am NOT pangit: "THANX YOU! kekeke >.< and i say ur hott... and u can still say Korean pride.... sum peepo might prolly look at you funnie... juss say ur KOREAN on the inside!"
I am NOT pangit: rofl

SimianAntithesis: lol
SimianAntithesis: Ya' really KOREAN on the inside?
I am NOT pangit: YESH! *westside sign* foooooo
SimianAntithesis: o_0

JIVEhomeskillet: mil..
JIVEhomeskillet: can u please help me?
I am NOT pangit: what's up?
JIVEhomeskillet: the yan can cook picture..
JIVEhomeskillet: wheres that from?!!?
I am NOT pangit: LOLOLOLOL
I am NOT pangit: OMG!!!!!!
I am NOT pangit: hahahahahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: i gotta admit..
I am NOT pangit: that was all from me
I am NOT pangit: like

JIVEhomeskillet: haha yeah brad told me..
I am NOT pangit: ^^;;
I am NOT pangit: it's from Ray's house

JIVEhomeskillet: its all good..:-P
I am NOT pangit: Yan is like some cook... on a box or something
I am NOT pangit: lol
I am NOT pangit: the second i walked into ray's apt..
I am NOT pangit: and saw that pic
I am NOT pangit: i was like
I am NOT pangit: HOLY SHIT ITS NADO

JIVEhomeskillet: hahaha
JIVEhomeskillet: its from the night we spend at ray's in vallejo?
JIVEhomeskillet: spent
I am NOT pangit: nope..
I am NOT pangit: it was from last weekend
I am NOT pangit: at his apartment

JIVEhomeskillet: whoa whoa..
JIVEhomeskillet: is it even me?
I am NOT pangit: well
I am NOT pangit: hrm... yeah
I am NOT pangit: it really looked like you

JIVEhomeskillet: oh it LOOKED like me..
I am NOT pangit: hehe yeah
JIVEhomeskillet: okay thats what tripped me out..
I am NOT pangit: LOL you thought it was actually you?
I am NOT pangit: XD

JIVEhomeskillet: everyone was saying it was me!!!
JIVEhomeskillet: PUNKS!
I am NOT pangit: hahahahahahahhahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: i'm gonna look for a pic of that guy..
I am NOT pangit: hehe

JIVEhomeskillet: thanks mil your great..
JIVEhomeskillet: that guy = possibly my twin
JIVEhomeskillet: ::dies::
I am NOT pangit: lol
I am NOT pangit: HOLY SHIT
I am NOT pangit: i found hella pictures
I am NOT pangit: hahahahahahahahaha

JIVEhomeskillet: of yan can cook?
I am NOT pangit: he happens to be a big celebrity..
JIVEhomeskillet: hell yeah! hehe i know who yan can cook is...
I am NOT pangit: hehe cool
I am NOT pangit: it was hella funny.. i was the only one that noticed it
I am NOT pangit: and i scared some people when i said, "omg! it's nado"
I am NOT pangit: they were like.. "Where?!?!"

JIVEhomeskillet: haha
JIVEhomeskillet: yan can cook..i wish i had that ability...
I am NOT pangit: http://64.95.118.51/images/newworld/4344/0912333316-resized180.jpg
I am NOT pangit: it's THAT picture
I am NOT pangit: lol
I am NOT pangit: it looks better on the box, though
I am NOT pangit: that one's all small

JIVEhomeskillet: omg..
JIVEhomeskillet: hahaha
I am NOT pangit: >http://www.c-c-c.org/images/99figures/yancancook.jpg
I am NOT pangit: its your daddy! XD

JIVEhomeskillet: or crap he has the wooden spoon
JIVEhomeskillet: that could be my daddy..
JIVEhomeskillet: oh
I am NOT pangit: lol
JIVEhomeskillet: i can see it maybe a lil..
I am NOT pangit: ^^;
JIVEhomeskillet: the face structure..and maybe the smile..
I am NOT pangit: yup yup

Wheee... time for some late night quizzes. x_o





You're fire! In general you're not a mean person but you can be very quick tempered, and boy, WHAT A TEMPER YOU CAN HAVE. You are angered very easily and you sometimes have anti-social habits.




What element are you?





I'm Hee Jun. The crazy, kooky leader that likes to fondle the other members. Without me the group would suck, so, go me~! I'm lovable and cuddy. Touch me.

Which H.O.T. Member Are You? (by EunMi007)


HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAA. That is soooooooo me! XD!!!!!


Romance Meter: Gotmil
Optimist 80%
..
20% Cynic
Close 61%
..
39% Distant
Sexual 50%
..
50% Asexual
Age:15femaleheterosexual
Compare with user:
What does my romance meter read?


I.. don't get it....


Okay! Sleepy time. Hah, I said that what... three hours ago? x_o

WTF??!?!??!?!!??!! Why do people from findapix.com still IM me? x_o

aLeXxPaRkK82: hey
aLeXxPaRkK82: do u phone bone
I am NOT pangit: uhh.. do I know you?
aLeXxPaRkK82: nope
aLeXxPaRkK82: saw u on findapix
I am NOT pangit: I see...
aLeXxPaRkK82: do u phone bone
I am NOT pangit: what is that?
aLeXxPaRkK82: phone sex
I am NOT pangit: Uhh... No.

----

Some people from findapix.com are bearable and are actually nice, if they aren't pedophiles... but damn. People that approach you like that are just SCARY.

Oh yeah. That last comment/post on my last flame by that one idiot has passed me. But just for fun *ahem*

1) I just care about you, I don't want you to get hurt.

And then....

5) Who am I? It doesn't matter. I'm not one of Rage's friends, and I don't know who he is. I'm not one of your friends either (obviously).

What a moron. You're not one of my friends, yet you care about me and you don't want me to get hurt, THEN YOU TELL ME TO KICK HIS ASS ANYWAY. Did I ever say I was "powerfull" other than 'strength-wise'? No. I just show my emotions... wether I'm pissed, hurt, sad, bored, annoyed, HAPPY. I'm not fucking ashamed of it, either. If people think that has a "powerfull" effect, then good for them. I couldn't care less. But if people assume that I do this shit to get attention, they they're fucking idiots [i.e., you]. Am I recently making threads on DDR Freak that the mods delete out of worthlessness and idiocy? Am I making public announcements and apologies on DDR Freak and making seperate threads about them? No. I keep my personal shit on my blogger, and whoever reads it reads it. I don't give a shit. I'm just too lazy to keep my journals on paper anymore. And I'm also too lazy to make a "secret" blog on which no one knows about where I can write everything persnal in there, and keep another 'public' one and all that jazz.... so I just cram everything in one blog. I'm not responsible if anyone gets upset from reading my blog... hey, I wasn't the one that told them to and I forget everything anyway. I keep my archives for the future; for when I get bored and what not. This Blogger is for me, as personal/useless/boring/contradictoral as it gets, its still for me.

Guts? Damn straight, I don't have them. Showing my face? So you can come down with your fifty million friends and try to shoot it out with me too?

Miyu, you fucking moron. Just get over it. You're not even worth everyone of A.S.S. getting together just to kick your miserable ass. We're over you, and its time that you get over us. You know what? Even Tequila [Adam] is fucking getting tired of your shit. Do you even know how many of your "friends" make fun of you behind your back? How many of them talk shit about you with other people, and act all ashamed of even having known you? The amount of them is fruitless. Everyone else is just too damn nice to say anything about it. We hate you, and its about time you fucking get over that fact and get on with your life. There's no point in butting in on our lives, we don't give a shit about you. End of story. I am over that Rage shit now, anyway. I get pissed off easily, I forget easily. Even though I still think Rage is a big moron [always has], I am not about to kick his ass unless he pisses me off more; especially of he does it in person. And even if you don't have anything better to do than dress in Japanese school girl uniforms, humiliate yourself and do your SONIC BOOMS during school, ASHAME your own mother and have her worry about you being gay [because you mother fucking act like it], have people hate you because of your annoying presence, doesn't mean other people don't have anything else better to do.

No one likes you, and its about time you go and kill yourself. ^.^v Peace out, "homegirl".

Monday, November 11, 2002

Song of the moment - "Love Flies" by L'Arc En Ciel
Feeling - Happy; to an extent


Oh my mother fucking God. This weekend was one of the funnest ever. Seriously. I can't remember every single thing that happened, all I gotta say is that it was just one of the BEST. Friday: I clean and get ready to leave for Vallejo/Sacramento. I was reaaaally scared that my birds will starve to death since I would be gone for four days, and I'm the only that feeds them ~ other than my mom. But yeah, as most of you know, my mom left last Thursday for Las Vegas. Heh, she's still there... and the only time she called me was to bitch at me for not telling my brother that I would be gone or whatever, and about how she feels bad for the birds and stuff. She didn't even give me any updates on whether or not she found a job and/or a place to live in at Vegas yet. Blah. Anywho, I finish getting ready, Isaac is like an hour late due to school and traffic and off we go to SF to pick up Sean [AzHP]. We get kind of lost since the two of us didn't really know the SF area, so yeah.

After that, we start heading to Scandia [Suisun] and I see people! yay. I tried playing Pop 8 on Oni mode, but since I suck at PA and/or I don't even care about PA and/or it was my first time playing Pop 8 and/or it was my THIRD time playing Oni mode and/or my energy level was down, I failed it. I also did very shitty on the basketball game... majig. Ray gets there, we go to his apartment. Muy fun.

Dude. Fucking Ray and I worked on our routine from 3-past 8 in the morning. I got about a half an hour-an hour worth of sleep and on top of that, Sean slept on top of me [on my arm] and fucking drooled on it. -_-. It was after I just took a shower, too--and I was almost tempted on taking another one. Yeah.. we all leave the house, Ray and I decide to practice our routine on an actual DDR machine. I ride with Isaac... he leaves before Ray. I'm like, "You know where you're going, right?" Him: "Yeah."

At some point, Sean asked him if he knew where Sac State was [since that's where we were supposed to go] but Isaac didn't answer. I realize that we were heading towards San Francisco on the highway, and I was like: "Uhh... where are you going?" Isaac: "Scandia..."

LSFHKJSDFHJLSUIYH85IERT034UOREIJGL9843798T GY 982Y9!!!

I seriously was veeeeeeeeeeeery pissed off. I was like, "We were supposed to meet them at Sac State" and this and that. I left my cell phone back at Ray's house, Isaac and Sean didn't know anyone's number.. and yeah. We were basically screwed. And when we got back to Sacramento, we get lost again. So yeah.... we left a little before 2... the FS tournament would start at 4, and we still needed to pick up BJ at 3. Okay, I was kind of just sitting there in Isaac's car... not trippin' or anything. Next thing I know, it was 2:20. I'm like, "Okay... Ray and I have plenty of time to work on routine if we get there in ten minutes." [we were already in Sac at the time]. Ten minutes pass by, I get a little irritated. Then, it becomes 2:40 and we are stuck in traffic. At this time, I started getting really pissed off and saying things like, "Dude... why couldn't you just have followed Ray?" and shit. Fucking... you dont' know how pissed off I was. While we were still lost, I almost started crying and said, "Fuck the tournament. Screw that shit." and the discouragement starts. I started thinking hella shit how I'm going to fail Ray and do hella bad on our routine.. this and that... crappage and of the shittage.... and my eyes started to get a little watery. I was thinking, "Fuck. Ray and I spent sooooo much crunching time on this routine. I worked so hard that morning... I didn't want to quit. I thought I could do this, but I can't" and crap like that. I get even more pissed off, and Isaac finally finds Sac State and the Student Union with the arcade. We see Kristy and Josh... and Isaac decides to just drop us off because he felt really bad. But, I was still pissed off and even knowing that Isaac was feeling bad about getting us to Sac State [which is only minutes from Ray's house btw], I fucking jumped out of the car, threw the .mp3 player remote on the seat and Isaac's yellow hat back in the car, and rushed to Kristy and Josh. I was veeeery upset.... and while we were waiting for Ray, I started crying. I couldn't hold it in anymore... all that work gone to waste. I didn't feel ANY confidence in myself with our routine. That's why I cried. Do you know how hyped up I was abot this tournament? Fuck, I was ready to take the Greyhound bus from Santa Cruz just so I could get there and compete. My very first tournament, gone to dreadful waste and humiliation. Gahhhh!!! I should stop talking about this. I'm getting pissed off again.

Anywho... other than me doing veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery bad on our routine, the tournament was very fun. I got raped by Mr. Wendell [Yes, I have the video clippage of it. x_o], took hella pictures after the tourney, blah di blah blah blah, blah blah. When the tournament was over, anyone who was anyone went to Aldaberto's. Fucking 938478375238594 people under one roof only ment to hold a third of that. Dude, Aldabertos is a really ghetto Mexican food joint... it was hella small, but everyone still went there except for thos in Tran Powah and A-Jay's ride. They decided to go somewhere else and come back. Smart. Basically, Aldabertos was a lot of random fun... we watched pop and lock videos on A-Jay's [SweetBanana85] lap top for a while, watched some Morning Musume on Isaac's laptop, listened to the rock version of Barbie Girl from Ray's car, blah blah. After most people left, the people that was staying at Ray's house left too. *tries to remember everyone that spent the night*---Milton, Ben, Josh, Brad, BJ!!!!, Liang, Isaac, Sean, Me, Jerry, Kristy, and I forgot who else.. I'm on crack. x_o

Sunday: We go to the Galleria, a mall in Roseville. I share a two-platter thing from Panda Express with Ray, Kristy and Milton had a potato-steak thing, and everyone else was across the food court, because there weren't that many open seats. x_o. Although, after they finished eating, they came over to our table and sat on the knee-high Kid's table/chairs. Sean fell on his ass. So yeah.. Isaac calls my cell phone a few times, because he left earlier to go to his grandparent's hosue or something. He kept keeping in touch on where he was and all that jazz. He calls for the last time, and tells us that he's at RVGL. So yeah, after Kristy and I went to the Sanrio store and I bought a very cute Choco-Cat bag, we left for RVGL. Hrm... that place isn't as bad as I heard it was. I mean, I heard that the machines were in very bad condition, and they weren't like that at all... except for keyboard mania. But yeah, this little white kid [probably 10-11] kept on talking to me as I played Guitar Freaks and Drum Mania. He kept saying, "Oh my gosh, yo! You are soooo good! I have never seen a chick play guitar ever!! =O!!!". He talked all thugg-ish, too. At first, I thought it was really cute.. but then he really started annoying me when he wouldn't stop saying how good I was at drum mania, even though I suck? Haha. A little before we left, something was bothering Kristy or whatever and Milton went to go talk to her and stuff.

We go back to Ray's house... Kristy, Josh and some other people left. Milton and Ben stayed there for a while, but then they eventually left. Yeah... that thing with the knee and that certain person was hella funny. That doode annoyed me throughout the whoel weekend, I fucking swair. Bagh. Anywho... before Me, Ray, BJ, Brad, Isaac and Sean left to go do Korean/Japanese/English KAREOKE, I was raped. *cry*. Well, not really.. it sounded like I was being gang-banged because Isaac picked me up and held me upside down. I was all screaming, and everyone else was just laghing. x_o SCARE. Ooooh! Kareoke was fun, though. Hehe. The only thing that sucked about it was the Japanese and Korean songs were not Romanized. Even BJ couldn't read Japanese characters that fast. x_o. After trying to sing [more like mumbling] Japanese songs here and there, we started doing English songs and stuff. We have some footage of the singing, but not the funnest/funniest parts of it. Most of the time, everyone was too busy laughing or singing to grab the video camera. Wheee! ^.^

Aww... after Kareoke, BJ had to leave because he remembered he had to do some paper or something for school. While Ray was dropping him off, Isaac drives us around... we roamed around Ray's neighborhood aimlessly and blah blah... we go back, turn on Bust A Groove on PS2 for like 2 seconds and decided to watch "She's All That" instead. Brad and I fall asleep on the couch all curled up.. with our legs all cramped the entire night... Sean slept on the floor with Isaac [In whom I kicked for the third time while I was sleeping... on the face.] and I think Ray fell asleep in front of his lap top again or something.

Monday morning: We go through the memories of the weekend, have a few laughs, and leave. I actually had to wake up everyone because I knew Brad had to get home early and I thought my mom was getting home today or something. I woke up Isaac and suggested us to start cleaning up, pulled Brad out of the couch and onto the floor [o_O] and we got ready to leave. I got some footage of that morning, but very little. Oh! We're gonna upload the stuff that we taped sometime this week, so yeah. I'll keep you guys updated on that and stuff. =)

We drop off Brad, and after that, we stopped by Kristy's house... we were about to say hi, but we er... didn't. lol. We then head to SF to drop off Sean and OMG DSAHFKJHSDFSDF. Dude. I was very irritated how Sean gave shitty directions while we were in SF. Dude. How the hell can you not know how to get back to your own house? Gosh! I was pissed off then, too.... and honestly, I was about to tell Sean after making Isaac miss another correct turn because he was just spacing out and didn't tell Isaac in advance when to turn left or right and what not... that I was about to fucking kick him out of the car and tell him to walk his ass home. Gah. I know I'm mean. Heh..

After we get out of San Francisco, Isaac first goes back to his house and gets some money. We then picked up his friend, Raul and stopped by Verde [Tapioca Express-like place in Mountain View]. Isaac asked me I wanted him to give me back the twenty dollars that I gave him for gas earlier, but I felt hella bad and wouldn't let him. I didn't let him buy me anything to eat or drink either, because I still felt hella bad... x_o;. Anywho, we get back to Santa Cruz, back to my place, and I sneak in trying not to make a commotion because my brother was taking a shower at the time and yeah... I say goodbye to Isaac, etc etc. This was around 2 PM I think... and I was all happy because I could still go to my basketball practice [which usually starts at 4 or 6 on the weekdays] until I checked out my schedule and found out that it started at freaking 8 in the morning. I was like... WTF and get pissed off again. lol.

Anywho.. I'm here, alone and somewhat mad. BUT everything else counteracts the negatives of this weekend and totally dominates. Wheeee. I can't wait till Suisun Scandia 2. ^.^!!!!!!

Sunday, November 10, 2002

i'm still in sacramento.. wheeeee. I can't blog much now because hella people are waiting to use ray's laptop. x_o